The Marathon Continues

Black woman oh

Black woman

Our burdens are so heavy most days

Even when we think we have found our happy ever with our Prince Charming, A temporary reaction to a situation having nothing to do with nothing 

Will lead to a 

lifetime of painful consequences

For the black woman.

Fairytales only happen in movies it seems 

But we also dream of our happy ever after

But our reality is, far too often we are left behind

To love and raise the children  

Forgotten and left shattered and broken from that temporary reaction

But what about the the black woman who lost her Prince Charming and is mourning Her soulmate?

Dedicated to Lauren London

In memory of Nipsey Hussle - the Marathon continues 

Black LOVE Matters ❤️

My Shunt and first Surgery

Three days after being diagnosed I was headed into my first brain surgery even though the doctor had never done an AN before I felt comfortable with him after our consultation. I have had this tumor growing inside my brain for nine months I did not know if I had nine seconds, nine minutes, or even nine days To seek a second opinion. When I woke up two days later I was told they weren’t able to remove the entire tumor because it was attached to a facial blood Vessel.  My face was still pretty swollen and my right eye was covered with bandages and my left eye was covered with some kind of patch and I had some kind of device on my head because I had developed an infection in the operating room which I later found out was meningitis. After spending several weeks in the infectious disease ICU my parents decided at the direction of the doctors to place a VP shunt in my brain to help with the spinal fluid and the infection. Then I had to do Cyber Knife radiation in 2010 and after ALL that something STILL wasn’t right! WTF?! Right?! I said the same I needed a SECOND shunt to control a pocket of fluid in a certain part of my brain! ONLY ME! So now I have a brain, a tumor, plus TWO shunts all crammed in this head. I don’t know how. That’s for Dr. B to figure out 🤷🏽‍♀️. But now him and I are joined at the hip.

The beginning

I knew something was going on from the beginning. I had been having a horrible headache all day at work and just felt crappy. On my drive home I started to experience some vertigo. Because we lived in Yucca Valley at the time and I had to daily make the trip up and down the 62 highway so I was unsure if my vertigo was from the pressure of my commute. After I picked up the kids from daycare I called my then-husband to meet me at the ER. When we get there I let them know that I had a horrible headache. The nurse was going to give me a shot of pain meds but I asked her to first run a pregnancy test. I wasn't late. But something in my body was off. Also, we had been trying for over a year and the month before had undergone an infertility procedure which would make me more fertile after months of no luck the regular way. It apparently worked cuz the nurse came back saying I was pregnant. We were beyond shocked that it worked on the first try but VERY happy. A couple of months in the headaches and vertigo got worse. I complained to my OB doctor who sent me to an ENT. They told me due to the fact that I had several ear problems as a child and I didn't have a normal ear drum, it couldn't handle the fluid gain from my pregnancy. I knew that was wrong from the second they told it to me. First, this was my second pregnancy and I didn't experience any of these symptoms with my first baby. Second, I could just feel from within that something was wrong. I didn't know if the problem was me or the baby. By four months pregnant I could barely walk without the assistance of my eight year old daughter Jordan. I wasn't allowed to drive anymore because thanks to the Vertigo I scratched the right side of my car trying to park in my own garage. After that incident I wasn’t allowed to drive the long commute to work. My job found this nice girl who also lived in Yucca Valley who was willing to carpool me to work in Palm Springs everyday. What an angel she was. I didn’t have any friends my age in town so it was nice to have someone to talk to on the way to work. Her and I still keep in contact to this day. We did that for a couple of months until the vertigo got too much for me to work without assistance. I was walking holding onto the walls. It was no longer safe for me to stand on my own so I had to go out early on maternity leave at seven months I believe.
While I was laid up one day I read an article about how OB doctors were just recommending C sections to gain extra money from insurance. However, it's considered major surgery and has a longer recovery time. So I was convinced to give birth vaginally.
Because I was having complications my doctor scheduled me to give birth on the day he was working. The night before my husband and I drove down the 62 and spent the night in Palm Springs close to the Hospital. The next morning I’m taking a shower getting ready while Mark is filming and narrating the start of such an exciting day and the first of many contractions start to hit and my mucus plug comes out in the shower. The contractions start to get stronger

#YouKnowMe

#YouKnowMe: I am so angered that I felt compelled to share my story among the online Twitter #YouKnowMe thread. I NEVER SHARE MY STORY BUT THINGS ARE GETTING CRAZY! 1 in 4 women have had an abortion. Including me. I’m not ashamed but it’s a choice between a woman, her doctor, and whatever God she prays to. So I didn’t feel it was anyone’s business plus it’s still an emotional touchy subject for me. No women’s birth control is 100 % percent effective. I have a brain tumor and hormones could cause my tumor to grow. I got pregnant while I had an IUD forcing me to terminate my WANTED pregnancy due to my 4cm brain tumor growing back since they weren’t able to remove it only reduce it 2 cm pressing on my brain stem. My tumor is connected to a facial blood vessel so I have been fighting the complications that come with having a tumor for ten years. I had to think of my health and my girls. It was hard and difficult and stays with me everyday. If you don’t believe in abortion, then don’t have one! But I am tired of a bunch of Republican men telling me what to do with my body while there are ZERO consequences for men!  

We need to educate our young women applying to colleges in these states but mostly boycott University of Alabama and any other state with these laws!
#NoRollTide #boycottAlabama #AlabamaAbortionLaw

Update: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE POSITIVE FEEDBACK!  My story was posted on Pantsuit Nation where 8,000 people liked it. Over 100 shared it. Let me clarify a few things so I don’t have to keep repeating myself. As the mother of two girls I think we should be educating our sons and daughters about NOT attending ANY schools in states that support these abortion laws. Period, point, blank!