Brown Skin Girl

Thank you Beyoncé for making a song that perfectly reminds me how I felt being the darkest of ALL my cousins growing up and I always felt different. But my Daddy would remind me I was different. I used to tell myself my skin was darker because my Dad’s people came from the West Indies. Then I had my beautiful first love and she is surrounded by people  that don’t look like her. I didn’t love my body but most importantly my skin until I was an adult. This song is exactly how I felt when my Daddy would tell me I was different and special to me trying to tell my daughter daily how beautiful she is.🎤🎵

“Same skin that was broken be the same skin takin' over

Most things out of focus, view

But when you're in the room, they notice you (notice you)

'Cause you're beautiful

Yeah, you're beautiful”

Hanah’s story and her magic 💫

In late 2015 I gave birth to twin girls and one was born with a hole in her heart. She was in the hospital for over 6 months and had 8 surgeries. At the same time my mom was diagnosed with Lyme disease after years of being in severe physical and mental pain and not knowing why. My daughter and my mama gave me the confidence, inspiration and push I needed to find my magic.
I’m not just a product maker. I make medicine, and I make it with intention, divine energy and love. And that makes all the difference in the world. People tell me they can feel my love and intention with each spray, taste or touch of my products. So after taking all sorts of energy healing and medicine making classes I started working with marijuana and Reiki energy healing. I had worked with other herbs for years but this one helped my mama the most by far. She would tell me that when I did reiki on her was the only time she couldn’t feel pain. I used reiki on my daughter as well ias other herbs and oils topically and she quickly flourished and we were able to bring her home from the

hospital.
A year later the opportunity to open a shop with two friends presented itself right in my lap. When I went to go to see the space I was immediately overcome with emotion and energy. I later confirmed that the exact space was where my dad had his auto body shop named after my sister and I 30 years ago. Side note, my dad passed away when I was a teenager and I believe he lead me to this space and protects it. The building looks completely different now but my dad planted roots for me to grow there. So now we have a beautiful lil shop that centers Black, Brown, Trans, Queer, Disabled and other marginalized people. We operate on a sliding scale, donate a portion of our sales along with much needed medicine to folx in need in the area and across the border. Our shop is a sanctuary, a safe space that puts healing at the forefront of existence and gives hope. I am continuously blessed to be doing this work and I will keep doing it as long as I can.

Two years

Two years this administration has attacked people that look like me. Like my children. That is not acceptable. The president of the United States is SUPPOSED to be a representation of the people.These recent attacks made on the Congresswomen of Color known as the ‘squad’ by the man that was placed in the White House by Russia are racist. He knows it. They know it and the world knows it. Hell, even his supporters know it, they just have to deny all facts in order to be part of the cult and they really love the hat .😂 I don’t understand how ANYONE can support a man that stood there and allowed people to chant “send her back!” As if his original comments weren’t horrible enough he allowed the crowd at his rally that included children to chant this. Now, if he were a TRUE LEADER he would have corrected them in their racist taunts but then again we are talking about the Grand Wizard “who me a racist?” Donald Trump 🙄. The thing that worries me is we already knew he is racist. I think many of his base is too, but I think you have this group that held their nose and voted Trump. They are not racist, they are not political, they just don’t care. That is what bothers me. Those people that just stay silent about the kids in cages and the racist tweets. Do They NOT realize the global effect this will have for America. Trump ALREADY is NOT liked. He is not a popular President. Our standing in the world has fallen since Trump has taken office. People wanted to come to America for better opportunities and better lives for their families. The last place they deserve to be in is a cage like some animal or torn from their family or the only family they’ve known. But the President allowing the crowd to chant openly racist speech and not defend a member of his country is not a good look to the world. In the future how are we supposed to work together with other countries or recruit talent or professionals from other countries if we take this stand? What about or men and women who are in other countries RIGHT NOW!! Words matter! And elections have consequences, I’m sure many Republicans didn’t think it would get this far but they created this problem way back with Obama and now is the time to stand up and fix what they help create. History CAN NOT BE REPEATED!

M

A Little about me......😁😁😁

It occurred to me while my blog was in FB jail that I may have picked up some friends along the way who don’t know my struggle or why I advocate for the things I do. My blog is called “Real like makes you an advocate” because it is TRUE! The mass shootings at Parkland turned those kids into advocates against gun violence. My healthcare fight these past nine years makes me an advocate and preach for better healthcare for minorities because I live it daily. More funding for Mental Health because I experience that. More funding for our Vets. I speak out against social injustice and other issues that I am passionate about. I am an Ally for the LGBTQ community and am a proud #NastyWoman and I #Resist all things having to do with this corrupt administration! Obama is FOREVER (forevea, ever?) My President! However, I love politics and I don’t mind having a civil conversation to hear an opposite side. I don’t really talk religion. I believe in separation of church and state and no matter what God YOU pray to, no man should tell me or my doctor what to do with MY BODY. I said it best after one of my surgeries, I believe in Heaven and that is the goal, but in the meantime sometimes you gotta raise a little Hell! 😂🙋🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️💅🏽 If any of my statements above triggered you, then you can kindly remove yourself from my friends! #PleaseandThankYou

When I was diagnosed I was 29 and had just had birthed my second daughter 3 weeks prior to being told I had a 4.2 cm mass pressing on my brain stem. That was the reason I could barely walk straight my entire pregnancy, unable to drive, had severe headaches, and finally my feet started going numb. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it was a brain tumor. I was a bit naive I thought I would have surgery and they would remove my tumor and I would go home. My whole world changed. My tumor was so large it took more than one surgery to reduce it (removing it wasn't an option) I had so many complications and infections I spent a year in the hospital. 42 days in ICU learning how to feed myself, drink, talk, and do all the basic things all over again. Thank heavens for my mother because she had to take care of my newborn daughter while I was recovering at the hospital. Her and I learned to walk at the time. Fast forward I've now had nineteen surgeries. I always say "that's too many" but I remember why I started this fight and I look at my girls. My life is not my own.

Cameron, Seizures and everything in between

As if the passing of Cameron Boyce wasn’t hard enough on my youngest daughter. It brought up a painful reminder for my oldest daughter. Part of having a brain tumor with 19 surgeries makes me suffer from seizures as well. I read that he had roommates. I pray they find peace with his passing and they never had to watch him have a seizure. As my daughter would tell you, “it is scary asf”.  People now are becoming aware of his medical condition and how he suffered from epilepsy. My oldest daughter watched me have a seizure once and it scared the mess out of her. Due do my brain tumor, 2 VP Shunts, hydrocephalus, and 19 brain surgeries I now suffer from seizures also. My daughter had to call the paramedics after I had one. I had no memory of it. I just remember we were getting ready to sit down and watch a movie, Ironically it was “Death at a Funeral” and the next thing I knew paramedics were standing over me asking my name and poking me. They were telling me I fell out and had a seizure but that didn’t make any sense to me. Once at the hospital they reminded me I have had seizures inside the hospital after surgery. That was my last seizure. I HATE that I scared my daughter that way. I didn’t like that I couldn’t remember. I hope his death brings as much awareness as his life brought happiness. 💛

Goodbye Cameron Boyce

This weekend I had to explain to my ten year old daughter that her crush had passed away. Her and I had watched Cameron Boyce in every episode of  “Jessie” and she loved the movies “Descendants” and we were anxiously awaiting the third movie due later in the summer. My daughter liked Cameron because she related to him. I’m always preaching that representation matters because I have seen it first hand. Growing up, there weren’t many cartoons or shows that I could relate to but luckily things are different for my children because the world is changing and becoming more diverse. While doing press for the first “Descendants” movie, she saw an interview of Cameron. It was then that she learned that he was half black. I will never forget it she said “hey, he is black but doesn’t look like it, that’s like me. He has freckles like me.”  I explained that yes he was mixed just like she was so it didn’t look as if he was black. He looked racially ambiguous, which was a big word meaning he could play a range of parts not just black. Like my daughter who is Mexican and Black but she is also racially ambiguous. Some days which is everyday looks more Mexican than Black. She felt connected to him because he was like her, mixed, racially ambiguous with freckles. In watching his interviews over the years you could tell he was a good kid. There were no tabloid stories or photos of him doing crazy things. Just a great kid with his whole life ahead of him so this one hits different. It’s ironic that Cameron passed the same week Disney announced that Ariel would be played by a wonderful and gifted singer and actress Halle Bailey, who is totally worthy of this role and will SLAY singing “Part of your World”. However, racist trolls flooded the internet upset that Ariel a fictional redheaded mermaid was going to be portrayed by a black actress. Disney went seventy years before they put out a movie with a black Princess and she was a frog during 80 Percent of the movie. The people complaining can’t understand how my daughter felt when she realized Cameron was just like her. For seventy years Disney made movies with ONLY white leads. It seems petty to argue over if a mermaid can be black when a Mother woke up this morning without her son. So while people complain and whine about who Disney cast, I think of all of the little boys and girls who will watch it and feel SEEN & REPRESENTED Because Disney finally understands that diversity and representation matter!

Some things that suck when you are fighting a tumor

Almost 10 years and it still sucks!

Not being in control of my body is HIGHLY annoying. When you have a Brain Tumor, two shunts, and hydrocephalus. Not to mention the effects from 19 brain surgeries your immune system is just about shot! Vertigo still sucks, my gate balance is off, many say and believe radiation destroys your balance nerve. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Radiation and tumor medication destroys your teeth years later! I had a phobia of dentists. Now I see him more than some family members. Damn shame. Radiation will save your life but you didn’t need those teeth 🦷 right? Gums are sexy 😂😂😂

Waking up and having to wait for the room to stop spinning and get my bearings before I get up to walk. I’ve had to pee really bad and tried to race to the bathroom before, trust me that story doesn’t end well. There was a time when the paramedics were at our house on the regular from me falling hitting my head. If I hit my head, automatically gotta go to the hospital. 

I know I must have some state of the art crap inside my brain because they taught me how to fall without hitting my head! Who does that? ME! I had to learn angles to fall to avoid hitting my head. The tech has been with me from day one and he would come out and personally check on me and program my shunt. 😊💛

A random “this don’t feel right” MRI can turn into surgery that afternoon. Now that I have Medicare I’ve been with my wonderful doctor Dr. B and his team at Scripps for about eight years. I joke with him that we are like a married couple because brain surgery is complex and I can’t trust my life to just anyone.

Sucks being deaf in the LEFT EAR. People always go over to my left side to talk lol or think I’m being rude when they are talking to me on the couch. I basically hear about sixty percent of group conversations and I play along and act like I heard it. People tend to get annoyed when you ask them to repeat things plus it’s not as funny. I have tried hearing aids, they suck!

I hate when my daughter is calling me and I can’t tell which direction she is calling from. Being deaf in one ear you LOSE that ability. Thank goodness my cell phone lights up when it rings cuz I can NEVER find it! 🤷🏽‍♀️😩