My Condition

First Thank you to everyone that left a sweet comment or note, said a prayer, or thought about me. I truly appreciate it more than I can express. Being transparent and sharing what I’m going through on this journey helps me deal with the depression and I’m glad to know that it helps other people. I firmly believe I’ve made it through 19 brain surgeries to tell my story and do exactly what I am doing. I honestly just struggle with the fact that THIS IS A LOT.

At times I feel like why wasn’t I the girl who had a tumor with zero complications and went back to her life two months later? Why did MY husband leave? I could go down the “why” rabbit hole forever.🤷🏽‍♀️ This is MY life. Yes, it’s hard AF but my Lord seems to think I can handle it cuz he keeps me BUSY! Part of my depression is having this illness that attacks your body all the time and I get no breaks. It feels like I am always at the doctors for some sort of complication. I have lost basically everything in the last ten years. Those who I consider friends are my family bc they have been there during the bad times when others have walked away. They are my village and they know who they are! The girls and I would be lost without our village.

I’m still sore from my procedure a few days ago. The doctors removed a large mass from my colon. I know now that it’s common for your body to produce masses in other areas of the body once you have a tumor. It’s pretty crazy because Jordan was born in 2001 and right after she was born I had a large ovarian cyst removed. I wasn’t sure if I was able to have more kids.which at the time I was ok with until I got married in 2007 and Jordan asked for a baby sister. Being in love and not wanting Jordan to be an only child, I went thru fertility procedure to get my miracle baby Aaliyah. 3 weeks after her delivery we find the large tumor, now ten years later I have a large mass removed 🤔🤔